Regret (September 16th)

Regret

One asked of regret,
  And I made a reply:
To have held the bird,
  And let it fly;
To have seen the star
  For a moment nigh,
And lost it
  Through a slothful eye;
To have plucked the flower
  And cast it by;
To have one only hope—
  To die.

–Richard Le Gallienne

(apologies to Richard Le Gallienne and Mrs. D.G.S.)

Like The Weather

The color of the sky as far as I can see is coal gray
I lift my head from the pillow and then fall again
I get a shiver in my bones just thinking about the weather
A quiver in my lip as if I might cry

And by the force of will my lungs are filled and so I breathe
Lately it seems this big bed is where I never leave
I get a shiver in my bones just thinking about the weather
A quiver in my voice as I cry

What a cold and rainy day…
Where on earth is the sun hid away?

I hear the sound of a noon bell chime, well I’m far behind
you put in ’bout half a day while here I lie
With a shiver in my bones just thinking about the weather
A quiver in my voice as if I might cry

What a cold and rainy day…
Where on earth is the sun hid away?

Do I need someone here to scold me?
Or do I need someone who’ll grab and pull me out of
Four poster, dull torpor pulling downward

For it’s such a long time since my better days
I say my prayers nightly, this will pass away

The color of the sky is gray as I can see through the blinds
Lift my head from the pillow and then fall again
I get a shiver in my bones just thinking about the weather
A quiver in my voice as if I might cry

A cold and rainy day…
Where on earth is the sun hid away?

A cold and rainy day…
I shiver, quiver, and try to wake

(apologies to 10,000 Maniacs)

 

 

Babysitting Gig

Babysitting Gig“And He Was…”

Found myself thrown into an impromptu babysitting gig for a friend.  Seems her chain of emergency back-up babysitters all came up empty, and I was her last resort.  Needless to say, I’m a sucker for sacrifice, and since she’s one of the few people I’d do anything for, I said, “sure– what the hell.”

Her children were delightful.  The baby boy is the most cherubic child I’ve ever seen, and he was an absolute hoot.  Give that kid a napkin or a paper towel and he’s dancing around the room as if he’s doing a ribbon-twirling gymnastics floor exercise.  The little girl is also a sweetheart, despite the fact that she threatened to pour root beer over my head.  (I would’ve let her, honestly… I have no shame anymore.)  She was playing an iPad game at one point, and when the obligatory in-game purchase opportunity appeared, she shouted, “I DON’T WANT YOUR GARBAGE!”  Good girl.  I did feel for “Fabio,” the virtual chef in her culinary game, though… he was trying so hard to teach her how to make an omelette, in his over-the-top stereotypical Italian accent (“Mama Mia!”) when she dismissively said, “Fabio’s a failure.”  Damn, girl… that’s cold.  I immediately thought of one of my favorite moments from Wes Anderson’s first film, Bottle Rocket, in which Anthony (Luke Wilson) visits his grade-school-aged little sister shortly after his release from a “nervous hospital.”  After the visit, Anthony tells his friend Dignan (Owen Wilson) that his little sister thinks he’s a failure.  Dignan replies:

“What?!?  She said you’re a failure?!?   What has she ever accomplished with her life that’s so great, man?”

Brilliant.

*********************

So anyway, in a moment of respite (shortly after the baby boy went down for his nap) I snapped the above photograph on my phone– an homage to both Julie Blackmon and The Talking Heads, I guess.

Close to Me

Close to Me

I’ve waited hours for this–
I’ve made myself so sick–
I wish I’d stayed asleep today.
I never thought that this day would end–
I never thought tonight could ever be
This close to me.

Just try to see in the dark–
Just try to make it work.
To feel the fear before you’re here,
I make the shapes come much too close–
I pull my eyes out,
Hold my breath,
And wait until I shake.

But if I had your faith,
Then I could make it safe and clean–
If only I was sure
That my head on the door was a dream.

I’ve waited hours for this,
I’ve made myself so sick–
I wish I’d stayed asleep today.
I never thought that this day would end,
I never thought tonight could ever be
This close to me.

But if I had your face,
I could make it safe and clean.
If only I was sure,
That my head on the door
Was a dream.

(apologies to Robert Smith and The Cure)

Incinerate

Incinerate

I ripped your heart out from your chest,
Replaced it with a grenade blast.

Incinerate [repeat]

The firefighters hose me down–
I don’t care I’ll burn out anyhow.
It’s 4 alarm girl nothing to see…
Hear the sirens come for me.
You doused my soul with gasoline–
You flicked a match into my brain.

Incinerate [repeat]

The firefighters are so nice.
I remember you so cooolllllld as ice.
Now flames are licking at your feet–
Sirens come to put me out of misery.
You wave your torch into my eyes–
Flamethrower lover burnin’ mind.

Incinerate [repeat]

(apologies to Sonic Youth)

Turn Around

 

Turn Around

Cold hands, warm heart,
Big dreams, false starts.
Those pills don’t work,
They just make it worse.
Don’t say you’re through–
I’ll swim beside you.
So this town, this sea,
Won’t drag you underneath.

You gotta know that this will turn around,
Until then I will not let you down.
When you find your ship has run aground,
You can call me, I won’t let you down–
I won’t let you down.
This will turn around.

Sick days, drunk nights,
Short fuse, loud fights,
Lose weight, all bones,
White trucks, the undertow.
Don’t say you’re done–
‘Cause you’re brave and you’re loved.
And this town, this sea,
It won’t drag you underneath.

You gotta know that this will turn around–
Until then I will not let you down.
When you find your ship has run aground,
You can call me, I won’t let you down–
I won’t let you down,
This will turn around.

I won’t let you down.
You’ve gotta know that this will… 

Turn around, turn around, turn around oh
Turn around, turn around, turn around oh
Turn around, turn around, turn around oh
Turn around, turn around, turn around oh
Turn around, turn around, turn around oh
Turn around, turn around, turn around oh
Turn around, turn around, turn around oh
Turn around, turn around, turn around oh

(apologies to The Postal Service)